Analyzing Presidential Candidates’ Faces

This month I have been asked to do a piece, “Analyzing Presidential Candidates’ Faces.”

This is a hard one to do without at least infusing a little humor as we are going to need much of it to get through this election cycle and potentially the next four years. Initially, I am struck with the thought that each candidate has multiple faces depending upon to whom they are talking and which one am I supposed to analyze?  There is even some more humor in the title, but I will let each make up his or her own joke if they desire.

From a Plastic Surgeon’s perspective, I would guess most would be interested in what my thoughts would be about what each should have done.  This is actually a pretty easy one.  The answer – Nothing.  That is unless they have something that bothers them.

That is the exact same answer for any patient I see.  “If it doesn’t bother you, it doesn’t bother me.”

But that makes for a pretty short and fairly boring story so we will go in the other direction assuming each would come in and say just give me what you think I need.  In that case, the answer – Everything……  “in moderation.”   Each needs good skin care with some type of retinoid, a great sunscreen, a hydrating serum with some growth factors… “come see our aesthetician she’ll analyze and load you up with product and maybe a couple of peels,”  would be my answer to them.

Next each would get some injections of the preventive type of stuff, botox and fillers.  More for Hillary, less for the Donald.

Not because he is less aged, but men just shouldn’t be as treated the same way.  Men are allowed a bit more “character,” and still be considered attractive.  This is not a “sexist,” thought or comment it is just so.  If you don’t believe me, believe People magazines sexiest man alive editions, heavy lids, sulking brows, wrinkles at the edges...

Se we can soften his crow’s feet a little and maybe just take the edge off of the scowl, but like most men too much will start to feminize the face.  I am not sure if my TV is off, or if he is really orange.  It may mean either eat fewer carrots or get a different self tanner, but why don’t we start with both.  With Hillary, absolutely we want to feminize.  Double down on the botox and use some filler in the cheeks and nasolabial folds to take away the natural deflation and sag that comes with age, but let’s not go crazy.

Sometimes less is more and more is funny looking.  That is what we see in celebrities or people who are trying  to get the results of surgery with just fillers.  And that brings us to the stuff we do here every day – Surgery!

Let’s start again with the big D.  How do I not say it.  Hair.  Just get the transplants.  Keep the swoop , just maybe a little more density, a  little less poof.  For the face the biggest influence for any man is the neck.  A strong jawline looks healthy, masculine, youthful, essentially expresses virility.  I don’t know if that means we should tone it down for him or not, but it would look good to be sharper and tighter with a neck lift.  Then upper eyelids using the keyword again of moderation.  Just a little but not so much as to hollow it or feminize, a bit more awake but not “amazed.”

Now Ms. H.  If you google Hillary Clinton Facelift, you get all kinds of stories about secret work she has had done in preparation for the presidential run.  When I look at photos, it sure looks secret because I just don’t see it.

She could have her upper and lower eyes, cheeks and neck done in a beautiful and forgive the term, “conservative,” way that would yield a result that is truly refreshing without looking done.  Just the way good cosmetic surgery should look.

Finally top that off with some laser for the fine wrinkles or crepe-like areas and she’s good to go for the next four.

Either way, after 4 years and what the responsibilities of that office do to people they will each be ready for the above and then some.

Good luck to us all, and God Bless America.

- Dr. P